


The Hardest Part's the Awful Things That I've Seen

by nowhiteflaguponmydoor



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Nightmares, OT3, punnihawk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 07:16:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17524241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nowhiteflaguponmydoor/pseuds/nowhiteflaguponmydoor
Summary: At first, Peg thinks he’s having a good dream.





	The Hardest Part's the Awful Things That I've Seen

**Author's Note:**

> So I've fallen headfirst into the M*A*S*H fandom and have a lot of Feelings about Hunnihawk and especially Punnihawk; I wrote this rather quickly and it's my first time publishing on AO3. This is an established relationship/post-series one shot that involves Hawk having a nightmare about BJ getting killed in Korea while BJ is at the hospital, and Peggy does her best to comfort him in BJ's absence. Nothing is too graphic, but there is a mention of the doctors having to deal with patients with unexploded grenades in their wounds.
> 
> Title is from My Chemical Romance's "Sleep", because I will always be an emo kid at heart.
> 
> I own nothing, I'm simply a fan of some good ol' fashioned h/c.

At first, Peg thinks he’s having a good dream.

It’s just her and Hawkeye in the bed. BJ is working an overnight shift at the hospital; a friend of his and Hawk’s had had a family emergency.

Peg knows she hasn’t been asleep longer than a couple of hours when she hears Hawkeye moaning softly beside her. Before she can make heads or tails of what’s going on, his moans get louder and turn into screams.

“Beej. Beej! BJ!”

Peg realizes what’s happening and turns the light on the nightstand. Hawkeye is turned away from her but his body makes disjointed movements. God, she hates this. Nightmares are a semi common occurrence for both of her boys, but as the years go by separating them further from the war, they have diminished in their frequency. Usually BJ is the one to wake Hawkeye, because he’ll sometimes startle awake and while he’s never hurt him, she knows they both want to make sure there isn’t a first time.

She tries talking to him first. “Hawk, Hawkeye. Wake up, darling. You’re having a bad dream.” She keeps her voice steady and even, not soft but not too loud either. Hawkeye begins to sob, still tossing and turning. _Fuck it_ , Peg thinks,  _I can’t let him go on like this_.

She reaches over and lays her hands on his shoulders with a firm grip. “Hawkeye. Wake up! It’s Peg. Come on, Hawk.” She gives him a good shake, and he does startle awake, but she jumps out of the way.

“Beej, I need—" he looks around and realizes that BJ isn’t there, and the look on his face devastates her. “Oh, God, Peg...w-where’s…” His breath comes faster and faster as he sits up and sits back against the headboard, curling into himself.

Peggy clambers into his lap and takes his face in her hands. “He took a night shift at the hospital, darling. He’ll be home around dawn.” She feels Hawk trying to move under her.

“I need to—I gotta call him. He was-was operating and there was…” he sobs and squeezes his eyes tightly shut.

Peg gets her arms around him so she can hold him tight. “Shhh, darling. It was just a bad dream. BJ is fine, and he’ll be home before you know it.”

Hawkeye lays his head against her chest and works his arms around her, holding on tight. Peg runs her fingers through his mop of sweaty hair. “Let’s see if we can’t slow your breathing down, okay? C’mon, deep, even breaths for me.”

Hawkeye obeys as best as he can, and slowly his breath resembles something close to normal. Tears still linger on his cheeks and Peg leans back to kiss them away. Hawk whimpers and she shushes him. “Shhh, shh darling, you’re alright. Concentrate on breathing. That’s my good boy.” She climbs off his lap and coaxes him to lie back down, first removing his sweat sticky shirt. She knows how important skin-to-skin contact is in moments such as these.

She settles herself against the headboard as Hawk curls up in her lap. She smiles to herself and begins to rub his back, using her fingernails the way she knows he loves. It takes a little bit, but she can finally feel him relaxing in increments. She thinks he’s just about dropped off again when he surprises her by speaking.

“Wasn’t just a bad dream.” His voice is muffled and soft but she hears him anyway, the stillness of the room carrying his voice easily. “Sometimes we’d get wounded with grenades in them that hadn’t gone off.”

Peggy keeps rubbing his back. She’s not ignorant of some of the horrors her boys experienced. They’ve both told her bits and pieces (though BJ much more than Hawkeye) and so she’s gotten better at not getting too upset when these things come up.

Hawkeye takes a deep breath. “And you’d have to remove the grenade before you could operate. And...one wrong move and it’d all be over.” Peggy knows that by _you_ Hawk means _I_.

He tenses up and curls into himself, nearly in a fetal position against her. “I dreamed that it was Beej trying to get a grenade out. He wasn’t being careful enough, and I was trying to call over to him...but…” he trails off but Peggy doesn’t need him to finish to know what happened in the dream.

Hawkeye starts to cry again and Peggy can feel her heart breaking apart. How she loves this man, this beautiful man who values life and yet has seen so much senseless death. She’d give so much to be able to take even a small portion of his pain away. She moves down in the bed so she can lie on her back, and she pulls at Hawkeye until he’s wrapped tightly in her arms. He hides his face in her hair as he cries quietly. Peggy rubs his back and strokes his hair. “It’s alright, sweetheart. It’s over now.” (She hates that she hasn’t a clue what to say at times like these. BJ is better at reassuring Hawkeye when he’s like this, but she does her best)

Hawkeye doesn’t say anything more and his breathing slows again and he relaxes against her, shifting so that less of his body weight is on her. She shifts with him so she can keep her arms around him and whispers “try and go back to sleep, darling. BJ will be back soon.” She hopes his dreams don’t come knocking again.

Hawkeye runs a hand up her back beneath her nightgown. “Love you, Peg.”

Peggy smiles and kisses the top of his head. “I know, my darling boy. I love you. Try to get some rest.”

They drop back to sleep in each other’s arms. She wakes up when she hears BJ come in. He’s being quiet, moving about their bedroom in the dark as soundlessly as possible. She sees him shucking off his clothes and whispers “BJ.”

She can faintly make him out as he steps out of his pants. “Peg,” he answers her, making his way to her side of the bed, bending and kissing the top of her head.

“Hawkeye had a nightmare while you were gone—involving you. He was pretty shaken up, so don’t be surprised if he’s still upset when he wakes up.”

Peg can see him staring sadly at the lump that is Hawkeye. “Oh, Hawk,” he whispers. He kisses her again, thanks her for the warning, and makes his way around the other side of the bed. He slips in on Hawkeye’s other side and scoots in close, spooning up behind Hawkeye. Hawk fusses a little in his sleep, tiny, upset but also cute noises that pull at Peg’s heart. “S’okay, Hawk. It’s Beej.”

“Beej?” Hawk’s voice is very quiet and sleepy.

“Yeah pal, I’m here. Go back to sleep.”

“Mmm. G’nigh’ Beej. Love you.”

Peggy can see BJ lean down to kiss the back of Hawkeye’s neck. “I love you too, Hawk. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Peggy reaches across Hawkeye so that she can rest her hand in BJ’s arm. He sighs in appreciation. “Night, Peggy. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Peggy’s heart is so full. Her boys are snuggled in bed with her, and even if more nightmares come their way, they’ll get through them together.


End file.
